I’ve been listening to Lindsay Holifield’s “Fear of God” EP on repeat since it was released on Friday, January 28. I can’t stop listening to it. Her musical style reminds me a bit of Jennifer Knapp, and her rich, deep voice is gorgeous and full of emotion and strength.
More than that, though — every song, every line, every word hits hard and hits home.
A Shared Fear of God
Lindsay and I have known each other somewhat casually for a good 10 years or so online. Her presence, her generosity in sharing her fierce but gentle kindness and love, has changed my life so much for the better.
We had similar upbringings in conservative Evangelical Christianity, and you can feel the damage that lifestyle wreaks on brains and bodies through every verse of these thoughtful, powerful songs. While I struggled (and still do) with disordered eating in my teens and early 20’s, Lindsay’s struggle was far more intense than mine, including in-patient and out-patient treatment programs over many years.
Embracing our Bodies and Brains
Over the years that we’ve known one another, especially the past few, Lindsay has been insistent on seeing our bodies and brains as our allies, not our enemies. I can’t tell you how much this shift in perspective has made me a kinder and more considerate person…even with myself. As a disabled queer person whose body holds every kind of trauma and whose brain has shattered from it, she invited me to look at how this body and brain have cared for me through the trauma. She invited me to view my body and brain as beloved protectors instead of relentless enemies. And that has made a life-altering difference.
Something for Everyone
This music encapsulates so much. The damage of evangelicalism, the struggle with disordered eating as a direct result of trauma, learning to see oneself as worthy and coming to love yourself. The strength and love of this project speaks to the wounded and weary, regardless of religious background.
Give it a listen. Give it a few listens. I can’t wait to hear what else Lindsay has to offer.
Have something to say?